Jill Carroll's Responses in Reader Q&A Provide New Insight

By: Joe Strupp While former hostage Jill Carroll's 11-part series, continuing to run this week in the Christian Science Monitor, is a revealing portrait of the 82 days she spent in captivity at the hands of Iraqi insurgents, some of the most telling aspects of Carroll's ordeal have come from her response to questions sent in by readers.

In video clips that have been posted on the Monitor's Web site along with each day's installment of the series, Carroll answers questions posed by Monitor Staffer Peter Grier. The inquiries, sent in by readers in recent weeks, are running the gamut from accusations that she helped stage the abduction to heartfelt support from one reader who admitted feeling a "bond with you."

In her answers, Carroll has revealed a range of insight, including resentment that anyone would think she would stage a kidnapping that led to the death of her driver, Alan Enwiya; regret that she had not spent more time with her family prior to the abduction; and revelations that she is in the process of helping Enwiya's family raise money to relocate to the United States.

When a questioner from San Antonio, Tex. accused Carroll of staging the kidnapping and being a traitor, she appeared calm on the video response, but offered a sharp rebuke.

"Well, of course, it's absurd that I would arrange for this to happen. Alan was my friend, and like a brother to me. I don't know how anyone could ever think that anyone would ever wish to torture their family and their friends like this. It's not possible," she says, shaking her head at several points. "So, just because I live in the Middle East and care about understanding the Middle East and helping Americans understand the Middle East in the fairest most objective way possible, I don't see how that makes me a traitor. In fact, I do it because as citizens of a democracy it is our duty to be well-informed."

Sporting a yellow, short-sleeved shirt, dark black glasses and partially dyed red hair, Carroll appeared direct in her answers to questions from Grier, which ranged from straight inquiries about what religious aspects she saw in her kidnappers to what readers could learn about what it was like to be held against one's will.

When a reader from Rockville, Md. asked the latter question, Carroll discussed the need to go along with the kidnappers in some cases to survive.

"It seemed to me that people didn't seem to understand how it really affects you, mentally. How you have to be so complicit and be so ... you just have to be able to do whatever it is they want you to do to survive. People seem to think you should stand up for your ... if they want you to do something that you find to denounce your country, for example, you should just say, 'oh, no, I can't do that.' That's suicide," she stated. "People need to understand that ... I think they sort of forget that, literally, these are people that will kill you at any moment. So, especially after a few months or a few weeks, you are not thinking normally. Even after a few days you are not thinking normally at all, and you are just in sort of a massive survival mode."

When a question from Maui, Hawai raised the sore subject of Carroll initially saying she had been treated well, then changing her story to say she had been treated badly, the reporter stressed that it was an obvious survival tactic.

"I wasn't well treated. But keep in mind, I wasn't doing this as a reporter. I was a hostage, which is different. I wasn't working, I had been attacked, essentially. So, the reason why I said in the beginning that I was well treated...those were the exact words I was told to say by the insurgents who captured me," she said. "They said if I ever said anything more, or anything different from that, essentially they would come kill me, essentially. So, I was never to tell anyone anything else aside from those exact words that I said. So, when I got out, I was still absolutely terrified. People seem to think that when you're free suddenly you're just back to who you were and that you're feeling safe and everything's great again. Not at all."

In response to other questions, Carroll also noted the balancing act she had to endure between offering interest in the kidnappers Islamic beliefs, while avoiding the appearance of defending them. She said that she could not even show the bottoms of her feet or her uncovered hair for fear of angering them. "So it was important to learn those things and to know what those religious beliefs were to not do anything that would get me in trouble," she said.

When asked what others should learn from her experience, she said it was the differences in religion and culture around the world. "It's important to understand how each Iraqi views themselves, their ethnic identity and their religious identity," she said in answer to the question from Arizona. "Once we understand that, we can assess a lot better why things aren't working, why violence is happening or not happening."

As for her own learning experience during the ordeal, she stated, "I think in a broader sense, the biggest understanding or insight was just how these kinds of insurgents work, and who they really are. Before, to a lot of us, they were just sort of, like, shadows behind a curtain. We had a general sense of their outline and their general movement. We didn't really know who they were, or why they were doing what they were doing, how they think about things, how they feel about things. Because understanding that means understanding why they are doing it. Once we understand that we can probably address the issues as to why they are doing it."

The Monitor Web site also has a list of other questions Carroll had been asked by readers, the answers to which will be provided in the coming days as the series continues. They include:

"From your experiences abroad, what insight can you give to other young journalists who want to make the jump freelancing overseas and other conflict ridden regions?" -- Sabrina, Columbus, Ohio