New Book Looks at Personal Ads Through the Years

By: Miki Johnson In ?Strange Red Cow, and Other Curious Classified Ads from the Past? (Clarkson Potter), Sara Bader uses these "everyman's" advertisements to highlight societal as well as publishing shifts from America's first newspapers to today's online services.

Bader, a freelance researcher and associate producer who has worked on historical documentaries for A&E and The History Channel, grew intrigued with classifieds when, during her research, she stumbled upon an ad about a "strange red cow" that had wandered into a Philadelphia pasture in 1776. Her extensive research, published this month, focuses on New York papers but extends to others gone-but-not-forgotten such as the Maryland Gazette, New Orleans Bee, and Pennsylvania Packet, and to online services such as craigslist.org and isawyou.com.

She provides historical context for her reprinted classified ads, expanding their simple, ephemeral requests into shared human experiences. The book is divided into classified ad types including Lost and Found, the once-popular Runaway Slave Notice, Information Wanted, and -- most entertaining -- Personals.

Known in early times as the ?agony column,? personals provide intriguing glimpses of humans trying to connect with one another. The examples given here, excerpted from the book, and in chronological order, include scorned lovers, wannabe stalkers, introverted college students, and marriage-seekers with requirements so ridiculously specific they could have been lifted from a Seinfeld episode.

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TO PATRIOTIC UNMARRIED LADIES. - I am a soldier, just returned from the wars. Have lost a leg, but expect to get a cork one; have a useless arm, but will be called brave for it; was once good-looking, but am now scarred all over. If any patriotic young lady will marry me, why fall in line! The applicant must be moderately handsome, have an excellent education, play on the piano and sing; and a competency will not be objectionable. One with these requirements would, doubtless, secure my affections. - Address Capt. F.A.B., MERCURY Office. (Nov. 9, 1862, New York Sunday Mercury)

MARRIAGE-A GENTLEMAN, YOUNG, WITH A FAIR portion of cash and very ?large expectations,? desires to make some good and handsome girl his wife. Her happiness will be his own, and the sincere object of marital relations; money no object, but youth indispensable. Old maids, widows, and ugly women over 18 need not respond to ?Ye Man,? Herald Office. (March 8, 1866, New York Herald)

A YOUNG LADY, SEVENTEEN YEARS OF AGE, AND possessed of a moderate fortune, is desirous of opening a correspondence with some gentleman with a view to matrimony. The gentleman must not be more than twenty-five years old, and must possess a fine intellectual countenance, be of an agreeable disposition, and above all must have a love of a mustache. The young lady is compelled to adopt this mode of opening a correspondence owing to the strict surveillance under which she is placed at home. Address Ethel, Brooklyn Post office. (May 16, 1866, New York Herald)

NIBLO'S, MONDAY EVENING - OCCUPIED Adjoining seats in parquet; repeated pressure of arm and foot, and hands met when separating. - If agreeable, address Bruno, box 211 Herald office. (July 17, 1867, New York Herald)

SHY INHIBITED HARVARD STUDENT TOO MUCH INTO BOOKS, WISHES TO MEET SPONTANEOUS PERSON TO LIBERATE HIM. BOX 1933 V.V. 80 UNIV. PL. NY 10003. (July 29, 1971, Village Voice)

I saw you?I was getting searched next to the holding cell for men, when there walked a line of women by. You were barefoot, looked angry, and I can't stop thinking about you. (Dec. 28, 2001, www.isawyou.com)

Sneaker Trampling-Generous SWM seeks female to trample or kick me with clean sneakers. (July 9, 2002, Village Voice)