By: Dave Astor Yesterday's "Dear Abby" and "Annie's Mailbox" columns featured very similar letters about visiting a nude beach. Was it a coincidence or planned?
"A coincidence," replied Karen Duryea, senior editor of "Annie's Mailbox" distributor Creators Syndicate.
"Another one of those strange coincidences," added Kathie Kerr, assistant vice president/communications at "Dear Abby" distributor Universal Press Syndicate. "Since I began working here in 1998, this has only happened one other time and I believe that was with an 'Abby' column and an 'Ask Amy' column [by Amy Dickinson of Tribune Media Services]."
The "Dear Abby" letter appeared to be written by the wife and the "Annie's Mailbox" letter by the husband of the same couple, though the ages of the couple were given as "late 30s" in the former letter and "40s" in the latter letter.
"Dear Abby" is by Jeanne Phillips, and "Annie's Mailbox" is by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. Phillips is the daughter of "Dear Abby" creator Pauline Phillips, and Mitchell and Sugar were assistants to the late Ann Landers. Landers and Pauline Phillips, of course, were twin sisters.
The "Dear Abby" letter -- from "Wondering Wife in Pennsylvania" -- read: "My husband and I are in our late 30s, healthy, and in good shape. Our love life is good, and we get along better now than we ever have in our marriage.
"Before we get any older, my husband has asked me to visit a nudist beach or resort with him. He also says he would like to spice up our sex life by making love in the forest beside a mountain stream, or even the back seat of our car in a secluded spot.
"Coming from a religious background, I am not totally comfortable with the idea of going nude at a beach in front of a lot of other people, or the thought of being caught having sex in the woods. My husband says that visiting a nudist beach or resort is not about exhibitionism or immorality. He says it is about enjoying nature and feeling the sensation of being free outdoors.
"To be honest, these are things I might like to try, but I am just not sure. I'm concerned about what others would think if they found out. My husband says what we do is our own business, and the only way anyone we know would find out is if we told them.
"Would it be wrong for us to go to a nude beach or resort, just to try it out?"
Phillips' reply: "I recommend you consider your husband's suggestions one at a time, and see how comfortable you are with each one.
"There is nothing sinful about going to a nude beach with one's husband. When you do, you will see entire families and people of every age enjoying themselves -- all looking remarkably similar, and none of them leering at anyone else. Should you run into people you know, I can't imagine anyone gossiping about it, since they would have to explain how they happened to see you.
"As to spicing up your sex life by making love in public places: Although some people may enjoy the 'danger' of possibly being discovered, I don't recommend it because it leaves couples vulnerable to being exploited by anyone who happens by, or being cited for violating local ordinances against indecent exposure."
The "Annie's Mailbox" letter -- from "Wondering Husband" -- read: "My wife and I are in our 40s, healthy, and in good shape. Our life is great, and we get along better now than ever. Before we get any older, I would like to try something different. Lately, I've been talking to my wife about experiencing a nude beach or resort. We've talked about making love in the forest alongside a mountain stream or even in the back seat of our car in a secluded spot.
"Coming from a very religious background, my wife feels such things are immoral. I explained that going to a nude beach is not about being an exhibitionist. It's about enjoying nature and feeling the sensation of being free outdoors. I am not asking for a lifestyle change. I'd just like to try these things.
"Believe me, I am not an exhibitionist. I am discreet and respect my wife's limits. But the thought of making love outside or skinny-dipping in the warm ocean seems wonderful. I want to share these experiences with her. Are my desires wrong? She said I should ask for your opinion. What do you think?"
The Mitchell/Sugar reply: "There is no 'right' or 'wrong.' Anything that goes on between two consenting adults is fine as long as no one gets hurt. Your wife is a bit more inhibited about her body than you are. If you want to spend a weekend at a nudist resort, you might look into those that allow you to bring spouses who opt to remain fully clothed. It's a reasonable compromise."
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