By: E&P Staff Tongue firmly in its cheek, this week's Phoenix New Times is advertising for a "meth critic" to write a weekly column on the highs and lows of methamphetimine addiction.
The item, by James King, was inspired by its sibling Village Voice Media alternative weekly in Denver, Westword, which is legitimately advertising for a critic to review the burgeoning number of medical marijuana outlets in its city.
"We figure we ought to up the ante and do the same regarding the Valley's drug of choice," the Phoenix paper said. "That is, Denver's got weed, Phoenix has meth. Indeed, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, Arizona ranks eighth in the nation when it comes to the percentage of the population using meth."
The New Times' "meth critic" would be expected to evaluate the quality of meth offered locally, the relative advantages of smoking or injecting the drug -- and where to get high.
"We aren't as fortunate as the tie-dyed hippies in Denver, who have comfortable parlors where their drug can be enjoyed," the paper said. "So if there's a preferred alley, dumpster, or friend's garage that's perfect for geeking out for several hours, we want to know about it."
The "position" would be freelance, the newspaper said, adding, "Sorry folks, to avoid having our office equiptment pinched and pawned, we can't have a meth-head actually on staff. The column's title: "You Do The Meth."
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